In a world where women are pit against one another on the daily, I’m positive that it’s safe to say that we have been conditioned to think that one woman’s uprising is another woman’s downfall. So, what am I trying to say? I’m saying that we have been almost fully conditioned to think that if we are born with a vagina, then we are automatically in competition with anyone else who is also born with a vagina. A woman VS woman mentality. Look at the photo above for example. Can anyone please explain to me how Gigi, slaying the red carpet in a low-cut gold dress, has anything to do with Kendall? Like, can someone just please show me where these lines connect? Because I certainly cannot see beyond it’s ridiculousness.
We can all point fingers and state the obvious reasons for having such a mindset like this on the media, TV shows, movies, and hyped up beauty pageants. But can you yourself honestly say that you haven’t contributed to this silent battle that we have been pushing to go on for ages? Can you honestly say that you yourself haven’t been cheering on women to step on one another while getting a sense of thrill or excitement when you witness a really good cat fight? Just by putting the words “really good” before the word “cat fight”, I know that I certainly have.
Without actually realizing it, we have been contributing to this toxic way of thinking like we contribute carbon dioxide into the atmosphere every time we breathe out. Let’s all be real here and look at it like this. How many times have we talked about a male friend’s current girlfriend and someone randomly blurts out “but, omg, (insert ex’s name here) is so much prettier!!!”. How many times have you raved about a pretty girl and someone randomly says “Omg, girl!! You have a nicer ass though, so don’t worry about it!”. What am I supposed to worry about? And to think that we even tear and compare women down to limb by limb, saying that girl #1 has bigger boobs, buuut girl #2 has a flatter stomach, but everyone should just go home because girl #3 has gorgeous eyes. This can literally go on forever.
Do we even find ourselves talking about men like this? Like, seriously? I don’t think I have ever compared any of the guys I liked or any guys in general the way we compare girls. Even when they’re in the same group! When women are in the same group, chances are much bigger that they are pit against one another. Ever heard the media talk about Taylor Swift’s squad? I bet if they were a group of guys, there would be nothing to see here. I haven’t heard anyone talk about One Direction like I’ve heard people talk about the Victoria’s Secret angels. Have you ever commented “TAPOS ANG LABAN” (The fight is over) on any guy’s photo on Instagram or Facebook? Of course not! That is because society is saying that girls are catty, jealous, and competitive. And guys? Naaah, don’t worry about them. Guys are just fucking chill and jealousy and competitiveness are not human traits, they are just female traits.
I recall this one time when I was walking around the mall with this guy that I was dating and we walked pass by a clothing store that had Gigi Hadid’s face all over it. With her being a certified #girlrush, I gazed in awe and said “Omg, Gigiiii! Saaaah pretteeeh!”. With good intentions in mind, the guy was quick to tell me “I think she kinda looks shitty. I think you look better”. That “compliment” did not make me feel any better, because I did not see it as a compliment at all. Like, do you really think that insulting or putting down another woman is supposed to make me feel any better about myself? All I was doing was just calling Gigi pretty. If you want to talk about me being pretty, we can literally grab a coffee, sit down, and talk about it for hours. But me being pretty, is a totally different and unrelated thing from Gigi being pretty. Simply because when I’m talking about me, I’m talking about me. When I’m talking about Gigi, I’m talking about Gigi. Beauty isn’t a competition, boys and girls! I know I can be beautiful on my own without comparing my beauty to anyone else, even more so insulting anybody else.
Now that we’ve talked about other people doing the comparisons for us, what about comparing ourselves to other women? Even when we don’t blurt out these thoughts out loud, are we still contributing to this disgusting mentality? The answer is yes and it is the most dangerous contribution of all. When you compare yourself to other girls, it just makes it natural for you to compare other girls to other girls. Every time you compare your bra size to another girl’s, you’re contributing. Every time you compare your waistline to another girl’s, you’re contributing. Every time you compare whatever the hell it is, may it be a job, a status, or achievement to another girl’s, please remind yourself that you are contributing.
Let me tell you that these thoughts aren’t feminist at all. It only confirms that for women, life is a competition and someone always has to be better or worse, that they can never be on the same level. It’s almost as if someone always has to throw some shade for another to be a step lower because two women cannot share first place. And hell with the “places”, ya’ll. I don’t recall ever signing up for some Miss Universe shit!
In our fight for equality and with the trolls trolling harder than ever, us women need to remember that trying to put out somebody’s light won’t make yours shine any brighter. You are beautiful, strong, and smart on your own. You are one in 7 fucking billion, already the best in being you.