Image from: slate.com
About a year ago, BuzzFeed came out with a video titled “Women Try Menstrual Cups” (video posted down below). Being one of Aunt Flo’s biggest haters and poorest victims (as most of us think we are), I would absolutely do anything and everything to make her visit a little bit less of a pain in the ass. After watching the video, I looked it up online and ordered one ASAP! That decision really was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made up to date!
The menstrual cup literally is a gift from the gods! Yes, literally. The Greek goddess, Athena, herself came down from Mt. Olympus to hand us commoners and peasants the glorious, majestic menstrual cup! Hallelujah!
I can go on and on five-ever about why you should switch to the cup, so I made this short list for you to break it down instead. So, besides the fact that it’s literally in my vagina, let me give you five reasons why my menstrual cup is #BAE.
1. Less time changing, more time slaying!
Okay, on my period, sometimes “slaying” actually means laying in bed the whole day, curled up in a ball with something (anything) edible, usually with high but empty calories, as I watch videos on YouTube, crying my eyes out over puppies getting rescued or cute little kid’s auditioning for America’s Got Talent. I can’t be the only one.
Compared to your good ol’ pad that should be changed every 3-6 hours, depending on the weight of your flow, and your trusty tampon that should be changed every 4-8 hours max, Bae, aka the menstrual cup, can hang around your vag for up to 12 hours!
Do you know how satisfying that is? Waking up for school or work, putting your menstrual cup in at 8am and not having to worry about anything at all up until you get home and pull it out at 8pm??? I don’t know ’bout you, but whoever invented this shit should be a canonized as a saint! #bless
2. Just like your nudes, no leaks!
When inserted correctly, it’s almost impossible for you to get leaks.
How to insert a menstrual cup:
After using a menstrual cup for a little over eleven months now, I can honestly say that I’ve only had very few leaks, and those leaks are due to the fact that the cup was not inserted properly and stayed in a fold inside my vagina instead of opening up. Its’s okay. We all know it’s hard to open up sometimes.
But don’t cha worry! I promise you that’s it’s pretty easy to get used to. And let’s be real here, cute panties don’t come cheap… and so do your luxury taxed pads and tampons. Read on!
3. It’s really fucking good for your wallet.
Even though I failed four math classes in my whole life, thrice in high school and once in college, Imma still try to do the math, because you are my reader and I love you. 😉
I’m basing this Bianquation on my personal period expense, which I really do believe falls under the range of the least you can spend on menstrual products since I have a pretty light-moderate period which only lasts up to three days.
Isaac Newton, who?
As you can see, PHP 4,524 is spent on my period annually. And this doesn’t even include the money spent on food! And how much did I get my menstrual cup for? I got it on sale on Lazada for PHP 275. And when it comes to your finances, the really great thing is that you can use your menstrual cup up to twelve fucking years! Lemme break it down:
4,524 x 12 (years) = PHP 45,240
Holy crap! Do you know what you can do with that kind of money?? You can travel out of the country! You can go on vacation! You can get a thinner face! The possibilities are endless! I don’t know about you, but I’d choose PHP 275 over PHP 45,240 in the long run any day.
4. It’s really fucking good for the environment.
According to the Women’s Environmental Network, menstrual products produce 200,000 tonnes of waste a year in the UK alone. I’m taking a really wild guess here, but I don’t think periods only occur in the UK. Idk, do they? Point is, 90% of this waste is plastic.. Plastic! You know, that thing that will stay longer on this Earth than you and me?? That thing that will end up in landfills, rivers, and the fucking ocean? Those little things that are found inside the stomachs of washed up whales and dolphins and stuck in the noses of turtles??
Your ex bestfriend?
Just imagine all the damage and trash that we can avoid producing just by switching to a tiny, little silicone cup.
5. It’s actually safer than your tampon.
According to WebMd, “Menstrual blood can start to smell when it’s exposed to air. But your cup forms an airtight seal. It’s safe. Experts say it’s safer than a tampon, because it has a lower risk of toxic shock syndrome, a bacterial infection”.
Tampons also absorb the moisture in your vagina and that really messes with your PH levels. Another thing that does really well in absorbing things is your vagina itself. With all the chemicals in tampons and so little research about these chemicals being stuck up in our womanhood, it should be enough to make you say no thanks!
Your silicone menstrual cup can’t really absorb or release anything while it’s in there. Just make sure you clean it really well before inserting! Washing your cup with soap and boiling it in hot water is the best way to go.
So you, you beautiful, intelligent, fierce (especially on your period), sexy amazon.. Do yourself, your vagina, your wallet, and the environment a little favor with huge benefits to reap and purchase your menstrual cup now! Like, srsly, right now.
Have a less crappy period!